Like many loveable furballs before me, like Karthis, another retired feral druid, I too have discovered that World of Warcraft had become more of a second job than a pleasurable form of entertainment. Certainly it is fun and rewarding to group up with friends who are almost like family after hanging out almost every night with the same people for over 4 years now... but it is also frustrating and disappointing to come together to accomplish things, but discover that they can't be done due to a missing healer, or some other missing person or people who are necessary and basically irreplaceable for end game achievements and goals.
I'm just not one of those players who feels the need to have a dozen alts that are all level 80 and decently geared up. I just can't invest that much time into characters I don't feel really attached to. I pick just one... and that is my one accomplishment... I might play around some days on alts that are fun to play with, but they never get the love and attention my single main does.
But alas... I have many fond memories of all of my friends, and the nights that we spent working together.. the glee from watching good players pull off what would usually wipe a group, or giggling at noobs who think they can tank... and all of the friends who asked me for advise, or simply just liked hanging out... I'd sing an Ode of farewell to them... I was just too shy to sing to them for real... Eventually I felt shoved aside by my guild because I was a simple feral kitty, and my guildies did not appreciate the abilities of their ferals. I offered suggestions for some roles a feral can do to help on strategies, but whoever the guild gods may be.. would decide in favor of some other mechanic from some web page somewhere else. I was left out and lonely and that was when I just couldn't put any more of my time into raiding... and without raiding.. there really isn't anything else for me. I was one of the courteous WOW players.. putting other's needs and desires before my own, sitting out for people who wanted to see new things first... enjoying hearing their happiness when they experienced new and challenging things... knowing that I would be included in it later because I was a member... but... it hurt me in the end. I passed too much on some of the things I needed to let others gear up... and I sat too much to let others get into my spot in the raid... I was then forced to sit for raids... and was just no longer needed...
At one point, I was one of the main tanks... but I was doing pretty good damage as cat form when we only needed one or two tanks, well.. how about I just go pure dps? Kitties can really kick out some damage right? So I did, and retired from tanking... but... I basically retired from wow in the end... because kitties were doing so well, we have to get nerfed, and the raid only needs a single feral... The feral tank can offer the same buff as the kitties... the kitties aren't even really needed at all... unless they do more damage than the other dps... But they were fun to play.. and I had a lot of fun playing Tallyswift...
Farewell Tallyswift... your paws are no longer needed to claw the trash for people so some players can sit back and watch TV while waiting to get to a boss fight... Your thick hide is no longer needed to off tank on Thorim when our main tank can basically solo tank everything in Ulduar on hard mode now... Tally was never a moonkin... Tally levelled up as a healer and was left in the dust then too.... But feralie goodness was embraced and Tally was reborn as a bear...
and a bear Tally was... for the whole experience of being in the end game guild of Hat...
The stars are calling... The dog is whining... The sunsets are gleaming... just behind those curtains and blinds... The moon waxes, then wanes again... and Orion dances overhead all winter, while Hercules watches protectively from above all summer.... I didn't get a tan again... My skin is so sensitive now I'm not sure I can get a tan anymore... I let my hair grow out... I colored it back to the color I was born with... I withdraw back into my small world.. my home, my kids, my future....
I'm not sure how my blogsite got linked with Asian forums, but it makes me giggle to see comments in half english and half characters that I do not recognize. I hope I didn't offend anyone, I hope I didn't upset anyone. I'm a very giving little person and try to accept and help all those who cross my path... I'm still the child who wants to bring home the stray cats.. the child who stops to untangle the bird caught in the bushes... the lone dove who sings her quiet little song in the evenings even if no one is listening anymore...
But my origami talents are improving, and I have numerous fans who come to see what critters are occupying my display box in my quiet little lab at work...
We always have to come to a point where we must re-define our self image and who we want to be. Step away from the image that others have painted of us, when their pictures are no longer very pretty... just paint the picture yourself...
Monday, August 23, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
Life, The World, and Why?
Time has passed.
I have learned some new things... I have wandered in my thoughts...
I entrusted the feral mechanics to our second and more superior Feral Druid, Aydrian.
He is extremely knowlegable regarding Feral Druid class mechanics, and keeps up on all
of the Elitist Jerks posts and updates. I followed him around like a lost kitty sometimes.
I'm still lost though...
It is true, my guild is almost like my family. They call me the "guild mom" because I have
children and have a maternal aura of caring for others and wanting to help people when
the have illness or are sad. I have a sleeve full of remedies that I gladly share with anyone
who wishes to listen.. Speaking to those who wish to listen, or those who are afraid to tell
me the don't want to listen.. has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion...
I attempt to spread good will and understanding between others, but if the end result isn't
wonderful, I am apt to blame myself in the end.
The guild ends up being a very delicate mechanism of numerous intelligent and yet sensitive
individuals all trying to find their place, and earn respect, yet have fun in their own way at the
same time. The diversity in personalities has led to cliques who feel comfortable with one another, and a few loners who prefer to just do their own thing, as well as the rare person who is laid back and kinda gets along with everyone, but doesn't want to join any single group.
Over time, I have learned to reach out to people in a kind and playful manner to simply attempt to raise spirits of both parties. On other occasions I just talk in druid chat, or melee chat, or raid chat to say something playful and entertaining to just be fun loving like I try to be... As far as progression goes for our guild, we have managed to kill all of the bosses in 25 man Icecrown Citadel on Heroic to unlock the Lich King (Heroic Mode) but have not yet been able to put in a lot of serious progression to down him. We have TOC heroic on farm for trinkets and cloaks, and we
are attempting to get a Mimron's Head mount for our guild members from Yogg Seron with Zero Keepers. Priority is given to members with the highest lifetime guild attendance. It's actually a very nice reward for dedicated raiders. So we manage to get things done in a rather timely manner each week, but if for some reason, things don't go so smoothly (and things never run smoothly all the time), some of our loving guild members may begin to lose their happy-go-lucky sense of Go-Get-Em raid attitude. Alas, if we try and try to complete a task that eventually is accomplished, the officers evaluate the hardships and try to iron them out for the next time. If the task is left unfinished, the officers evaluate the situation and develop a new strategy or plan to hopefully become successful on the re-visitation. But how resilient are the members? Do they log off angry blaming others? Do they switch to another form of entertainment and not worry about it? Do they ponder their own small errors or ways in which they can themselves improve? Do they just chill out with friends and talk things over? Perhaps the mode that each player handles their daily activities.. accomplishments and failures... will also be a factor in how the guild itself will progress and evolve over time.
I prefer when the officers speak openly in our vent channel evaluating the events to help us
understand our individual rolls and the importance of each part of the strategy. Our raid leader
is superb in detailing our rolls and the overall strategy so that, for the most part, everything does
run very nicely. We only have problems if a member is unclear of their roll and doesn't say anything, or if people just stop paying attention... We probably have the most problems arrise from members feeling uncomfortable speaking their thoughts to the individuals involved... rather they will go around them and tell someone else who is then burdened with this dilemma and what to do about it?
Luckily most of our members are good natured and want to get along and work together as
a team so that fixing problems isn't too hard... but Life is like this... Learning to get along...
Learning who you can talk to who will just let you vent, and who you can't talk to who will feel
like they need to fix your problems when in actuallity you just wanted to get some frustration
off your chest...
I have learned some new things... I have wandered in my thoughts...
I entrusted the feral mechanics to our second and more superior Feral Druid, Aydrian.
He is extremely knowlegable regarding Feral Druid class mechanics, and keeps up on all
of the Elitist Jerks posts and updates. I followed him around like a lost kitty sometimes.
I'm still lost though...
It is true, my guild is almost like my family. They call me the "guild mom" because I have
children and have a maternal aura of caring for others and wanting to help people when
the have illness or are sad. I have a sleeve full of remedies that I gladly share with anyone
who wishes to listen.. Speaking to those who wish to listen, or those who are afraid to tell
me the don't want to listen.. has gotten me into trouble on more than one occasion...
I attempt to spread good will and understanding between others, but if the end result isn't
wonderful, I am apt to blame myself in the end.
The guild ends up being a very delicate mechanism of numerous intelligent and yet sensitive
individuals all trying to find their place, and earn respect, yet have fun in their own way at the
same time. The diversity in personalities has led to cliques who feel comfortable with one another, and a few loners who prefer to just do their own thing, as well as the rare person who is laid back and kinda gets along with everyone, but doesn't want to join any single group.
Over time, I have learned to reach out to people in a kind and playful manner to simply attempt to raise spirits of both parties. On other occasions I just talk in druid chat, or melee chat, or raid chat to say something playful and entertaining to just be fun loving like I try to be... As far as progression goes for our guild, we have managed to kill all of the bosses in 25 man Icecrown Citadel on Heroic to unlock the Lich King (Heroic Mode) but have not yet been able to put in a lot of serious progression to down him. We have TOC heroic on farm for trinkets and cloaks, and we
are attempting to get a Mimron's Head mount for our guild members from Yogg Seron with Zero Keepers. Priority is given to members with the highest lifetime guild attendance. It's actually a very nice reward for dedicated raiders. So we manage to get things done in a rather timely manner each week, but if for some reason, things don't go so smoothly (and things never run smoothly all the time), some of our loving guild members may begin to lose their happy-go-lucky sense of Go-Get-Em raid attitude. Alas, if we try and try to complete a task that eventually is accomplished, the officers evaluate the hardships and try to iron them out for the next time. If the task is left unfinished, the officers evaluate the situation and develop a new strategy or plan to hopefully become successful on the re-visitation. But how resilient are the members? Do they log off angry blaming others? Do they switch to another form of entertainment and not worry about it? Do they ponder their own small errors or ways in which they can themselves improve? Do they just chill out with friends and talk things over? Perhaps the mode that each player handles their daily activities.. accomplishments and failures... will also be a factor in how the guild itself will progress and evolve over time.
I prefer when the officers speak openly in our vent channel evaluating the events to help us
understand our individual rolls and the importance of each part of the strategy. Our raid leader
is superb in detailing our rolls and the overall strategy so that, for the most part, everything does
run very nicely. We only have problems if a member is unclear of their roll and doesn't say anything, or if people just stop paying attention... We probably have the most problems arrise from members feeling uncomfortable speaking their thoughts to the individuals involved... rather they will go around them and tell someone else who is then burdened with this dilemma and what to do about it?
Luckily most of our members are good natured and want to get along and work together as
a team so that fixing problems isn't too hard... but Life is like this... Learning to get along...
Learning who you can talk to who will just let you vent, and who you can't talk to who will feel
like they need to fix your problems when in actuallity you just wanted to get some frustration
off your chest...
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